Parenting &... the Plan
- lauraharris
- Mar 24
- 3 min read
Last week I’m trying to pick up some medication from the pharmacy. I have all three kids in the car, and it’s freezing outside, and it’s 5pm… which means that I am going to use the drive through instead of going into the store and standing in line. So we pull up and get behind 3 other cars. And proceed to wait.
FORTY minutes later I finally pull to the window, ask for the medication, pay, and leave. It was an excruciating wait - involving some rain, someone cutting in line, spilling a drink, and at one point a screaming child in the backseat.
I don’t know if you’re like me, but I like Plans. I like to organize, to schedule, to make my list, and then execute the Plan. And when the Plan doesn’t go the way I want it to, I really don’t like it.
In those moments, I come face to face with my own stubbornness.
Which brings us to parenting.
Stubbornness
One of the hardest parts of parenting is not the unending tasks. It’s not the amount of time you spend driving to and from appointments. It’s not even the number of times I’ve washed that dish or picked up that toy.
The hardest part is the fact that your children have opinions.
They care about a LOT of things. When it’s time to eat, and what they want to eat, and definitely what they don’t want to eat. Which toy they want, which shoes they don’t want, and when it’s time to sleep or not sleep. These beautiful, precious children have very very strong thoughts and feelings and opinions about things that lead to not so beautiful or precious moments. They can be so strong and so stubborn.
And the hard part is when their stubbornness comes head to head with our own stubbornness.
Reevaluating the Plan
We get stuck in doing something, and instead of reevaluating, we stubbornly keep at it until we’ve got screaming kids, a spilled drink, and line-cutting-rage in our cars.
And sometimes I think that’s okay. There may not be an easy option. I could have driven away and parked, gotten all three kids out, gone into the store, and still had a long wait in another long line.
Parenting is hard. It is SO hard. There is no trick, no tip, no perfect system, no Plan, nothing to make it not hard. Sometimes you just have to accept that it’s hard and muscle through the moment.
But sometimes there could be another option, a better plan. Which can be hard to admit. It’s hard to face your own stubbornness and change. I honestly think one of the most difficult and humbling moments in parenting is being willing to admit that your plan or your method or what you’re trying is not working.
So I want to encourage you - If you’re struggling with something, ask for help. Don’t get attached to the way you think things should be going or working. If it’s not working, be willing to reach out and see if there is a different way.
Because there’s not a perfect way, but maybe there’s a smoother way. Even if it wasn’t originally part of the Plan.
Laura Harris is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works in the Northwest Arkansas area, servicing Bentonville, Rogers, and Springdale. With over 10 years of experience, she's worked in various fields from in-home parenting counseling, to kids, to supervision of other therapists. Currently her specialty is supporting new parents, especially mothers.
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