Parenting &... Pain
- lauraharris
- Apr 7
- 3 min read
I just listened to a podcast on pain. This is a topic that I honestly don’t think gets enough attention. It’s a heavy topic. It’s not fun to think about. When we are in pain (emotional or physical), it’s hard to experience it and endure it. When other people are in pain (emotional or physical), it’s hard to witness it and often not be able to do anything to make it stop.
Often people go to the doctor, and run all the tests, and draw all the labs, and wait ALL the time, and one day finally get a diagnosis. At last! Their pain has a name and a cause. It may not have a cure, but there are often treatments. And more than that, with a diagnosis comes something that is honestly really important - validation.
People in pain obviously want to feel less pain. But people in pain also want to be seen. Validating pain is so important. And sometimes it’s the only thing we really can do. We can’t fix it, but we can sit with people in their pain and not be afraid of it.
And that, I believe, brings us to parenting.
This Crazy Journey We Call Parenthood
If you’re reading this, you are possibly a parent. And if you are a parent, you most likely have experienced the ups and downs of parenthood. There are some amazing and beautiful moments where you feel grateful and alive and oh so blessed! And there are also some very hard and dark days where you don’t know what the best thing to do is, and you feel like you’re honestly just failing at this whole thing.
Sometimes, what we need more than anything during this crazy journey we call parenthood, is someone to just:
Get it.
See it.
Name it.
And so that is what I wish to do for you right now.
I See You
Here is my diagnosis for you - you have KIDS. It’s a lifelong condition. There is no cure. There are only treatments (including gratitude, meditation, self-care, a support network, and changing your expectations). However, treatments are honestly inconsistent and some days will be much more effective than others. Side effects include but are not limited to sleeplessness, irritability, nausea (because why not?), headaches, heightened sensitivity to noise, loss of appetite unless it’s junk food, and more irritability.
The only thing that makes this condition manageable is support groups and community… in other words, validation and love.
Parenting is hard. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done - I have come face to face with my own brokenness and weaknesses every single day. (And it’s usually while someone is screaming at me.) In the midst of the pain and struggle that make parenting so hard, don’t forget that you’re not alone. I see you. And others can also see you and understand. So I want to encourage you - don’t be afraid to reach out and see what support and community you can find. It may not take away the pain, but it helps to share it.
Laura Harris is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works in the Northwest Arkansas area, servicing Bentonville, Rogers, and Springdale. With over 10 years of experience, she's worked in various fields from in-home parenting counseling, to kids, to supervision of other therapists. Currently her specialty is supporting new parents, especially mothers.
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