Parenting &... Idioms
- lauraharris
- Feb 12
- 3 min read
There are a lot of sayings and idioms people use, some that I love and some that I hate.
“Easy peasy, lemon squeezy” - Love it, use it all the time with my kids. (Also we add “extra cheesy”, because who doesn’t like extra cheese?)
“Break a leg” - Hate it, I think it’s dumb and doesn’t make any sense.
“Hit the nail on the head” - Love it, it’s super visceral.
“Spill the beans” - Hate it, I don’t like messes.
There are also some that I never really understood. One of these is “Hedge Your Bet”. I got the general idea, but not super clearly and wouldn’t have been able to explain it if asked. I finally looked it up one day and had this life-altering brain explosion.
Hedge Your Bet
The definition is “to avoid committing oneself when faced with a difficult choice”. Essentially leaving yourself an out. Which is a really wise thing.
For instance, the other day I’m driving behind someone slow. They might keep going, or they might slow down to turn. I keep checking my mirror, so that if I need to get over quickly to the right I know that it’s clear. And I feel good. I’ve got my plan, I’m in my lane, I’m following the route, but if something happens that doesn’t work for me, I can just get out.
This gives me so much relief and comfort in driving, finances, my wardrobe pick for the day… so many areas of life. It feels nice and safe to be able to change course if something isn’t working out.
This does NOT work in parenting.
Commitment and Grit
Parenting requires you to be all in.
Now, let me be clear. Being all in does not mean that we are inflexible. It does not mean that we are dedicated to one way of doing things and unwilling to try something new. It does not mean that we are all-knowing and unable to learn new things.
Being all in means you never quit. It means that when the 2 year old is throwing a tantrum again, you don’t yell “I can’t deal with this!” and leave the house. You don’t shut your bedroom door and let someone else handle the whining because you just can’t deal.
I’ll give you an example. I stayed home full-time with my kids for a really long time. And during that time, their grandma was around to help a whole lot (yes, I’m SUPER blessed!). The days that their grandma was around, I had help and support and reprieve. And ironically, the days that she wasn’t there to help, I was way more patient and kind and creative with the kids. When she was there, I had an out - I didn’t have to figure out a solution to the whining and tantrums and exhausting demands coming at me all day.
Parenting while making sure that we have our “out” set up and ready for us is honestly a recipe for disaster. Parenting only works when we are 100% all in. Committed. No turning back.
And that is terrifying.
Winning Big
What if I mess this up? What if I can’t figure out this problem? What if I cause a hundred other problems for my kid? I’m a real life human, which means I come with my own baggage and fear and problems and messiness.
I would feel so much better if I had an out. If this doesn’t work the way I thought it would, I want to still have a way to make sure I’m okay (and my kids are okay).
Google says that these are the top similar idioms for “Hedge your bet” - “Play it safe”; “Sit on the fence”; “Keep your options open”. These are the opposite of parenting.
You are a parent. There are no options to choose from. There is no fence to straddle. There is no playing it safe. We have to go all in, push all our chips in the middle, and lay all of our cards on the table.
I know it’s scary. It’s also the only way to win big.
Easy peasy, right?
Laura Harris is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works in the Northwest Arkansas area, servicing Bentonville, Rogers, and Springdale. With over 10 years of experience, she's worked in various fields from in-home parenting counseling, to kids, to supervision of other therapists. Currently her specialty is supporting new parents, especially mothers.
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