Parenting &... Honeybees
- lauraharris
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
My boys like to read science books a lot. They love to tell me all the facts that they learn. And they are little kids, which means that I often don’t believe some of the things they tell me. So this week when my 5 year old told me that a honeybee only makes 1 teaspoon of honey in their lifetime, I was definitely like “yeah, there’s no way that that’s true”.
Turns out, it’s not true.
One honeybee makes 1/12 of a teaspoon in their whole lifetime.
1/12. That’s tiny.
That means that it takes 12 bees working their whole lives to make ONE TEASPOON of honey.
We did the math (because we’re a nerdy math family) - to make one cup of honey, it takes 576 honeybees.
576 bees. To make one cup of honey. 576 bees spend their whole lives making one cup of honey.
I almost had a nervous breakdown.
These little honeybees. They have a project in front of them: Fill Up Hive With Honey. They work so hard all day, knowing exactly what to do and doing it with excellence. They are focused and productive. They spend their whole lives working on this huge project, and at the end of it have contributed 1/12 of a teaspoon.
It’s beautiful.
There is no design flaw in the bee. They are made perfectly to do the job that they do. They don’t slack off and waste time and that’s why they only made such a tiny amount of honey. They did exactly what they were supposed to do. And this is the honey that they made. And there is no shame in that.
Honeybees make me wonder if our expectations are all wrong.
The Long Game
I really like to see results. I like to work on one thing at a time; know exactly what I’m doing each moment; see tangible progress as I work; be really productive in a short amount of time; finish my task and cross the item off my list during the day.
None of this happens in parenting.
Parenting is this super long-term project that you don’t really have the instructions for. And oh by the way, the stakes are really high. You have this person you’re trying to help form into a kind and functional human, and really don’t know exactly how to do this. You have to figure it out on the fly, do the same thing over and over and not see immediate results, work on multiple things at a time all day long, and at the end of it not cross a single thing off your list.
Sounds awesome, right?
It’s seriously 20+ years of playing the long game.
Less Shame, More Grace
Bees know exactly what to do, never get distracted, and work their whole lives on one project. And they only make a tiny amount of progress. We often have no clue what to do, are perpetually distracted, and have a thousand projects happening within this huge project of raising this child.
It’s okay if we don’t have productive days all the time. It’s okay if we don’t see everyday progress in our child and in ourselves. It’s okay if we feel like we don’t know what we’re doing, and feel kind of lost in figuring out how to be a parent.
A bee will work his whole life and only have a little to show for it. We work for 20 or more years to create a whole person. We wouldn’t judge the bee. So why judge yourself? Isn’t your journey just as sweet?
Laura Harris is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works in the Northwest Arkansas area, servicing Bentonville, Rogers, and Springdale. With over 10 years of experience, she's worked in various fields from in-home parenting counseling, to kids, to supervision of other therapists. Currently her specialty is supporting new parents, especially mothers.
Comments