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3 Thoughts On Parenting Well (even in hard times).

If I'm honest, the past two months have been probably the most stressful in my adult life.


While my wife and I have done a great job of leaning in to each other during this time, I've not measured up to my own standards as a dad.


So I've been looking at how I can be a better father.


Here are three things I'm meditating on.

First, kids have this magical super power called "play." Remember to enjoy it.

Second, have some grace on yourself. Parenting is hard and even the experts struggle.

A parenting expert who created a class with ten useful principles he taught parents on how to do better in their roles raising their children. He gave classes that were well attended and popular.


He called these classes: Ten Commandments for Parents.

He didn't have any children himself, but after teaching the class for a few years, he met the woman of his dreams and they had a child together.


After being a parent for one year, he decided to rename the class: Five Suggestions for Parents.

After another child and another year, he re-titled the class: Three Tentative Hints for Parents.

After he and his wife were blessed with twins, he stopped teaching all together.


Bill O'Hanlon - Do One Thing Different.



Finally, to be a good parent means being a good student of our kids...

  1. An amateur sport. The moment you think you’ve turned pro, the rules change.

  2. To experience little daily deaths. This grief process is one of letting go of expectations, “supposed tos,” assumptions of how kids and family life should be.

  3. A bliss and a blister. It’s the greatest source of suffering. It’s also the greatest wellspring of joy. (So you can tell, I don’t buy the one-sided view that “parenting is such a bliss” idea, although I can appreciate some parents do truly feel this way!)

  4. The intersection between the sacred and the secular. It’s a virtuous circle that constantly reminds you of the giddy reality of daily living, that some semblance of soulfulness is required.

  5. Improvisation (originates from the Latin ‘improvisus’, meaning ‘not seen ahead of time’). Life is one big improvisation anyway, a 2 left-footed dance between plans rendered useless and surprises that behold gifts waiting to be opened.

  6. A fermentation process of maturity. Not because we become wiser teachers to our children, but because we are hit with the stark realisation that we are called to become better students. Daily.

  7. A mirroring of the gift of paradox that permeates through life. The parenting paradox is this: we aim create a strong emotional attachment with our kids, so that one day, they wouldn’t need us


Daryl Chou, Parenting is


Best,


Dr. Jordan Harris.

 

Dr. Jordan Harris is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists who works in the Northwest Arkansas area, servicing Rogers, Springdale and Fayetteville. With over 10 years of experience, he's worked in various fields from addictions, to kids, to psychiatric wards. Currently his specialty is working with couples with young children.


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